Let’s Talk Boundaries: Why I Don’t Switch (A Situational Truth)
Everyone has boundaries. You, me, your mother, your best friend, the guy who runs the bodega down the block; everyone has things they will and won’t do with other people. And chances are, if you asked them what those boundaries are and whether or not they’re hard and fast, they’d tell you those boundaries are situationally dependent. If your friendly neighbor offered you a glass of cold water on a hot day, I bet you’d gladly drink it. But if a stranger handed you an old dixie cup filled with a suspiciously green liquid, you’d probably turn it down. It doesn’t mean you won’t accept a glass of water, it just means you won’t accept that water.
Switching is situationally dependent for me. And I’m going to explain why.
Why I Don’t Switch (Professionally)
If you’ve been following me on Twitter for any length of time, you’ve probably noticed that kink is an important part of my personal life as well as my professional life. While I only assume the dominant role as a kinky GFE provider, I am a submissive to a brilliant and caring Domme in my personal life. Some people might argue that sharing my personal kink journey on social media will be confusing to my clients, that I’m sending them mixed signals, but I disagree. I love my work. Part of that is because I’m passionate about sharing the transformative power of kink with the world, but part of that is because I adore my clients. My clients are the best! They’re smart, thoughtful, and they appreciate nuance. So many of them inhabit powerful leadership roles in their professional lives, but in their personal lives they want to explore the release of submission. Like them, I choose to inhabit different roles in different parts of my life. I’ve even had clients express that part of what convinced them to book me was that they felt safe enough to submit to me, knowing that I can appreciate their vulnerability from personal experience.
So if I have a deep love and appreciation for submission, why don’t I switch professionally?
Because switching doesn’t excite me
Kink is amazing. It’s a fantastical world where your wildest fantasies can come true. As a creative person, I love the world-building that can take place inside a scene. I love how, for an hour or six, my submissives and I can construct an elaborate world that only the two of us know about. A world where we get to make the rules.
We all live in a society where men play the dominant role (whether they want to or not)*. As a woman, I am not interested in using my powers of imagination to replicate a model of the power structures we’re already living in. I revel in the expansiveness of theatricality, exaggeration, and subversion. To go beyond the humdrum is every day life, that’s where I want to take my clients. And I find it’s harder to do that when I’m bored. When I sub in my personal life, I do so exclusively to non-cis men. My submission is an expression of my queerness. Queerness is inherently creative; it is my castle in the sky. But that’s another blog post.
*While I welcome inquiries from people of all genders, the majority of my clientele are cis men, thusly this paragraph is tailored for them.
2. Because I can provide my clients with the best experience as a dominant.
As a facilitator of erotic discovery, I believe I’m able to provide my clients the best experience possible when I take the reins. I want them to allow themselves the gift of release, to focus on their own experience instead of feeling like they need to perform, the way so many of us do when we’re in the outside world. When I step into the dominant role, I am best equipped to guide my clients to their own enjoyment.
3. Because seeing you on your knees turns me on.
You just look so vulnerable down there. I can’t help but want to use you.
How You Can Still Book Me For a Switch Session
I understand that for many people, switching is an important aspect of their kink fantasy. If you were hoping to book me, there’s no need to be disappointed.
I have a solution.
Kinky duos!
There are lots of providers out there who do switch, and I happen to be friends with some of the hottest in the business. Let’s bring one in for our next date! There are so many ways that I can craft a scene that allows me to maintain my boundaries while you get your switchy fantasies fulfilled. This is the beauty of kink, the only limit is your imagination….and I guess the human body. I still haven’t figured out how to kill you and bring you back to life yet ;)
If your powers of imagination have been activated by this post, feel free to send me an inquiry.
Having a hard time imagining how a switchy duo session could work? Book a Niteflirt call with me. I’ll paint you a word picture you won’t soon forget.
